How To Stop An Affair, Cheating, Or Infidelity

Millions of married men and married women across different races, diverse backgrounds, and cultures occasionally feel the need to have their unmet needs and expectations inappropriately shared with another person. While every couple prefers to be in a relationship with a faithful partner, some relationships do not work out that way. In some relationships, cheating is an infrequent occurrence. And, in other relationships, cheating is a regularly planned and scheduled secret affair with an affair partner. The couple may have the life that they created together. But, the couple may be missing the fun, excitement, spice, romance, and adventure in the relationship, which may be the very thing that got them attracted to each other when they first started dating. An affair provides a way for one of the partners to temporarily escape their primary relationship without making too many changes with the current relationship. Unlike the primary relationship, the feelings experienced from the secondary relationship are often feelings of excitement, interest, passion, mystery, and suspense. As a result, the partner may view the secondary relationship as necessary.

Affairs matter. And, the recounting of when a partner cheats, steps out, or is unfaithful, is often one side of the story. Cheating is often the personal events from two sides of emotional pain, pleasure, and excitement. There are couples that agree to have open relationships, sleeping around, open marriages, or maintaining a poly lifestyle, whereby, an emotional connection to a third person is formed. Couples may agree to polyamory, or have an open relationship, casually date, and have intimacy with other people for a variety of reasons below.

Spice up the couple's love life.
Allows the couple to stay together, while continuing to looking for someone else.

With an open relationship, the couple dedicated adequate time to discuss their own physical and emotional needs. And, the couple jointly makes the decision to connect with, date other people, or to include other people to join their relationship.

With affairs, the person involved in the secret often will not disclose, or discuss, the secret relationship with their partner until the relationship begins to get serious. In many cases, unless trust and safety in the relationship is restored, the secret will remain as a secret. Once thoughts of the significant other starts to become associated with fond and happy feelings of desire, excitement, love, or safety, more than the primary relationship or marriage with the original or married partner, the emotional connection with the affair partner, or friends with benefits, becomes stronger. By that time, the Dopamine chemical have already produced enough good feelings for the person to continue the affair. The person engaging in the affair is becoming addicted to the blissful feelings associated with the affair.

For example, the events associated with the affair may involve thinking about the Affair Partner in a more fond, or romantic way, and frequent enough, for the person to sneak off during random times to chat with the affair partner without the person's male friend, partner, female friend, or spouse knowing. For example, A wife waits for her husband to leave their home for work before calling a close male friend. Or, a husband waits for his wife to go to bed before chatting online with his female friend. While many partners may justify why they may sneak away to send a text to someone that is just a friend, the secret chat, the typical main reason is that the friend makes the partner feel good. Almost all single men, committed partners, husbands, and divorced dads, are confused about what women want. Many women feel similarly about men. Hence, the occasional decision to divorce, separate, or simply, have an affair.

Cheating In Emotional Affairs

Cheating in emotional affairs typically occur when there is an unmet need, whereby, one partner does not feel all of their needs can be met within the current relationship. And, over time, the partner starts thinking, and potentially pursuing, to have the unmet need met from outside of the current relationship. Men prefer to experience more passion with women. More Women prefer to experience more connections and intimacy with men. For many women, intimacy may be:

Being able to hold a conversation.
Being able to connect on an intellectual level.
Being present and emotionally available.
Spending time together.
Being affectionate.
Working towards goals together.
Completing chores around the house.
Paying bills.
Taking care of the family.

Intimacy can include any number of things for men, women, husbands, female friends, wives, or male friends. And, it can be different things, at the same time, during different times of the year. When a woman feels connected to her partner, on an emotional level, she feels heard and understood. She feels cared for and safe. And, the couple would agree to experience intimacy with each other.

No matter how young or old we are, both men and women have a need to feel safe, physically and emotionally. In most cases we choose, date, and marry the person that seems to be the most suitable that can provide the physical and emotional safety that we need. Although each person in the relationship has changing needs as they mature and communicates differently, based on their Love Language, most couples choose partners that have personalities that reminds them of one of their parents or guardians. As adults, we do our best to figure out, and work through, life using the skills that our parents taught us. We view the skills and lessons as valuable knowledge, which is what we consider when choosing someone to make commitments with. We often choose the person to marry, and plan our dream wedding. But, we use many factors as decision points, including those valuable skills that we learned from our parents.

As the couple spends more time together, becoming familiar with each other's personality traits, the differing ways of doing things can impact the relationship. This typically occurs for women around the age of 30. At this time, great communication skills are necessary to work through issues, such as an expected outcome to ensure that expectations are being met on both sides.

For example, one partner may not be aware that working too much triggers negative old memories for the other partner when their Dad was not coming home after work. If the partner does not prioritize quality time at home over tasks and projects at work, the other partner may feel lonely or rejected, similar to the past, when Dad did not come home after work. If the feelings of being lonely, bored, or rejected is not communicated, discussed, and addressed, the lonely partner may enjoy a random lunch with a co-worker, scheduled meeting with someone new, or an online chat using a dating app. When one innocent chat leads to multiple private chats or deleted private chats. As each private experience makes the partner feel happier and feeling less lonely, the stage is all set for an emotional affair. Office romance statistics show that 85% of affairs outside of marriage start at the office. An emotional affair is the most common type of infidelity at work. 41% of employees are not aware of company policies on workplace romance. Only 16% of romantically involved co-workers have told others about their relationship.

Cheating In Physical Affairs

As intelligent social human beings, we all have physical needs. For both men and women that recognize that they enjoy being touched, hugged, adored, kissed, or being intimate, being in contact with others allows the person to feel alive. When a partner has an unmet need of being touched by their partner, it can lead to feelings of being rejected. Feelings of rejection in a partner can produce various outcomes, which include feelings of depression, acts of physical abuse, and engaging in an affair.

Effect Of Cheating On Family Members

People hear and observe more than parenting adults often realize. If Mom and Dad are not speaking to each other on a particular day, or if they are not affectionate towards each other, family members notice it. One of the family members may display a lack of respect towards one of the parents. Since family members depend on Mom and Dad to provide safety, if the emotional connection between Mom and Dad is not strong, the family member may not feel emotionally safe. Studies have shown that when family members are raised with both parents emotionally detached, or the parents are separated, the family members can become impacted. As a result, Singles Meet App recommends that singles and couples try to ensure that family members are not involved when there are relationship issues. Seek counseling, when possible.

How To Stop Or Prevent A Cheating And Affairs

At Singles Meet App, we are hopeless romantics that love to love. We enjoy helping singles to meet and couples to connect and relate to each other. While recognizing that love can be messy, we encourage all couples to be open and honest with each other.

If your relationship is at risk, due to cheating, having an open relationship, an affair, or infidelity, we are sorry. And, our hearts go out to you. Even through the shock, pain, anger, and regret, try to hold your head up high. More often than not, you may think that your partner cheated because of you. This is an incorrect way of thinking. You are perfectly imperfect. Do not forget that.

There are a variety of reasons why cheaters initially cheat, and may choose to continue cheating. In many cases, the thoughts of cheating is a response to an unmet expectation or an emotional need within the primary relationship. Many times, partners strayed, or have an affair outside of the relationship, because they chose not to be honest with their partner. In many cases, cheaters have the affair because they became addicted to the happy feelings associated with their connection to someone else. For example, the man may prefer to be around the helpful and easy going woman at the office, compared to the demanding and critical wife at home. Sometimes, cheating partners exact revenge, in response to something that was previously done. Yet, other times, the person may not be comfortable with their progress, thus far, in life.

If you are a man, you are handsome, and would make a wonderful husband. If you are a woman, you are beautiful, and would make a wonderful wife. You deserve more happiness, joy, peace, respect, and love. To stop, or prevent an affair, you must control your own emotions. A person under the influence of their own emotions cannot think rationally, as emotions secretly influences the person's thoughts. More often than not, when influenced by emotions, wrong thinking quietly becomes right thinking. Think about this deeply. Learning how to control your own emotions will save you from years of therapy or marriage counseling. It may save your relationship or marriage.

Advice For Cheating Partners Having An Affair

For the partner that has the secret affair, you must consider the emotional, and potentially, generational impact for your families. Your feelings are valid. While it is possible to feel like you are in love with more than one person, at the same time, it is also possible that one of the relationships are not meant to be. If you are having your deepest, most connected conversations outside your relationship or marriage, you are in danger of hurting your partner or spouse, although you might not be betraying your partner physically. To simplify it, even when your emotions are high, or the longing to see, or be with, the affair partner is intense, don't cheat on your partner. If you've got lots of love to give, talk to your partner. See communication. To sort out, or to make up your mind on which partner to choose, or to be with, you must stop contact with the secret lover, or affair partner. Stop texting, calling, doing things together, doing things for each other, meeting for lunch, or meeting for dinner. Once some of the initial feelings have settled down, you will be emotionally prepared to better choose which partner to be with. Occasionally, you may feel sad or depressed, due to missing the feelings of desire, adventure, and excitement. However, to make a clear decision about which man or woman to be with, you must temporarily stop communicating with the secret partner until you can sort out your true feelings. Then, make a decision to:

Reconcile with your partner, discuss recovery, ending the secret affair and all contact with the affair partner.
Make the affair your new relationship, ending the old relationship with your old partner.

As we previously stated, we are hopeless romantics who enjoy bringing single people together. A word of caution: Don't play with your partner's heart. With the help of the Internet and Google's Search Engine, partners can use many instantly available tools and resources towards the discovery of the secret affair. The path of affairs, cheating, and infidelity is destructive, and further harms singles, couples, and family relationships because it breaks trust and security in relationships.

Advice For Partners Getting Cheated On In An Affair

For the partner that is in the primary relationship, you must remember to take time for yourself. Feel through the feelings of betrayal, disappointment, pain, anger, and rage. When the dust settles, start controlling your emotions. Try not to attempt to control the thoughts and actions of your partner, as you may be pushing them further into the arms of the significant other. Since you can only really control your own thoughts and actions, work on being whole for yourself. Be the best version of you that you can be, mentally, spiritually, and physically. For example, try to generate extra income, as you may need more money to buy new clothes for your new look. Or, enroll in an online class to learn a new skill. During this time, you'll be reflecting, while moving forward in life. At this point, you are becoming the quality man that many women on all the dating apps and dating sites are looking for. And, if you are a woman, you are becoming the attractive and hot woman that guys are lining up to meet. You may have different feelings about your success over a few months. However, whether you choose to make up and reconcile with your partner, or become single, and eventually start to date again, you should be able to look back to recognize the upward and positive trend once you follow these steps.

Steps To Prevent Cheating Or Stop A Cheater In An Affair

It is not your fault.

Improve your emotional health, and practice self love.
Find a good support system, or supportive community where you can grow.
Improve your physical attractiveness or appearance.
Improve your interpersonal skills.
Improve your earning potential. Whether you are single, married, or divorced, you will need more money to improve your lifestyle, or to make a new life.
Do something different. Don't be boring. Live life, and take your mind off of things. Surprise yourself, and make new memories.
With your partner, use the Paired app, as it gives daily relationship questions that helps to improve your relationship.
Plan, and go on regularly scheduled date nights with your partner. Keep it fresh and interesting.

Trust

Be transparent about feelings, activities, and whereabouts.
Be trustworthy, dependable, and do whatever you promised someone you will do.

Emotional, Physical, and Financial Needs

Ensure that your partner feels emotionally safe with you.
Ensure that your partner feels physically safe with you.
Ensure that your partner feels financially safe with you.

Intimacy

Pray together, and pray for each other.
Improve trust, and be honest and open with each other.
Be in the moment.
Work on common goals together.
Genuinely look out for each other.
Kiss passionately for at least 10 seconds. And, kiss often.
Create a safe space for intimacy. Role play. Or, use a vibrator.

For more information on affairs, here is the article on How To Have An Affair.

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